I had a great discussion with SPG, a friend of mine who resides in New York on a career basis. I confesses to her that I need a miracle to happen to me from God, if I am ever destined to get married. Oh no, it is not a matter of me getting desperate to get married. That is so demeaning to the word, marriage itself.
I had seen and dated many ladies in my life and the outcome of all the countless searches, ended up in disappointment at last. Who does not want to get married? I want my own kids of my own. I have begun to realize that I am not destined for that yet. How does that happen? Could it be the issue of me being "picky" in my choice of girls? Not really. It never meant to happen to me yet. I had come to an age whereby I have gone beyond of searching for the right one.
In fact, being to strive for a better life had turned me into a stubborn headed, yet patient and cautious in any decision in my life. As what, my old hyppcrite friend, Dave, used to say that I am a person who lacks "People-Relationship Skills", he is totally ignorant on what he claims. I am not affected by. I am just compelled to say that he lacks it himself with his constant "wayang" or bluffing with actions, with his friends.
In all, I have put his friendship aside with no issues at all after I got to know that of his desperate views on life. Why should I mingle with people who flew around the world, cleaning toilets in the airplane as their career and get drawn to their beliefs and practices? It's sad of him.
Back to my story, the search for the right girl continues but with a little change to the objectives. Im no longer persistent in expecting all relationship to flourish. I will just let God decide now. Let Faith revive my will to explore Love.
To conclude, the very essence of all relationship, relies on the other party's willingness to commit and trust. At least, I rather think it that way, since I want them to love me more before I jumped into one.
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