Musica...

Music, it is one of the best creation of humankind that is very sensational to everyone from generations to generations in the world. I have the passion for Music. Indeed , who does not have, right? Call me weird or strange but my kind of music is made up from countries not within this region.

I was first introduced to World Music from my best friends who are currently working in New York and London. They showed me the passion of Salsa and Merengue and for seven years, I was intrigued by the sensational steps of Salsa and Rythm. This further encouraged me on a hunt for all the best of Salsa songs from La Sanora Carusseles, Marc Anthony, Celia Cruz, Victor Manuelle, Tito Puente and many more. The beautiful beats of the percussion, saxophone and latin beats mesmerized me from then and I was further fascinated by the great combination of Salsa and Arabic songs from Gypsy King and Alabina, Cheb Mami and Yuri Buenaventura, Amr Diab, Nawal Al Zoughby, Sameera Said and many countless more.

The addiction to listening and dancing to these rythms from the Mediterranean and Latin continents have made me a better person and strong. I learnt Salsa Dances (though I am still a beginner in it) and I began to love Spanish Language and I have yet to take up some courses on it. There is one thing about the Spanish and Arab communities when it comes to entertainment, they really know how to entertain themselves exotically with their songs. I have yet to see belly dancers in Turkey and Egypt though I have seen some local renditions of it in Singapore. It is not about the perversion of looking at sexy femal dancers wriggling their belly buttons but it is about how they dance passionately to the Arabic Songs.
It will be thrilling for me, indeed.

Not forgetting, I love Salsa Movies too. I kind of having limited experiences in viewing Salsa movies. Some of the movies that I have watched are, " Dance With Me, Dirty Dancing 1 and 2" and Mambo Kings. There are superb and inspirational.

Oh well, it is funny to know that I do not understand a single word of these songs but you do not need to know the meaning of the language. It is music? The rythms and beats are the definitions of the passion.

Check out some of the best clips I love for Salsa and Arabic songs below from Youtube,

Yuri Buenaventura

La Sonoro Caruselles

Nawal Al Zoughby

Sameera Said and Cheb Mami


Salsa Salsa , Latinas and Latinos. Muchas Gracias, Ya Habibie and Ya Habibtie!

I Love Annie

Oh my..I did not know that I am such a fickel minded person for all this while that when love does come by, I tend to be hysterical about it. Yes, my relationship with Annie is still new. In fact, it has only been a week and a half since we have become one. I have known her for three months now but has that made me questioned myself whether I am truly in love or not?

Ever since then, I have realized that not all relationships are supposedly to be based on love alone. To me, it is more on the other party's willingness to love me more than I do for her. Ok, what I mean here is, I may be unsure of things lately but I am confident that I have fallen for her thoroughly. I am now admitting to the whole world that I am truly in LOVE with Annie. No doubt about it. I have seen couples going through relationship for many years and love is just so strong for them to deny it. I have even a male friend whom have dated this ex-girlfriend of his for three years but all efforts went into the drain eventually. They broke off.

The problem about the word "Love" is that it always entices me to look for it more in a person. Yes, I love Annie but what I meant previously was that I did the wrong thing by comparing my young relationship with Annie to others. Well, of course, let us be honest in this. No relationships are bigger than any others. People may tend to think that I am just forcing myself to love her but no, this is a personal thing from my heart. She has been the best lady in my life caring my life always with things, no other ladies, I have known in my life, will ever do. Trust me, she is even better than my ex-fiance. I can truly and sincerely mention that always.

The question here is...how long do you need to know the person to even think of whether you are in love with him or her? Should there be a period? Should there be even an effort to know? No...it is all natural. I cannot sleep without first talking to Annie. I cannot concentrate or focus on my lessons or studying without her giving me a kiss and blessing me. I cannot pursue other things without Annie in this world. She accepted me for what I am. She adores me and do not care whether I am now underpaid since I am still a trainee. She bought me things that will be of use for me. She is losing weight for herself and me. Imagine that? A lady who loves me who is willing to do everything or even throw away everything to love me? I love her so much. Indeed. This is the one for me. She is Mrs Max. She will be sought by me always and I am praying to Allah that we will be reunited in a wedlock in future. Time will make us stronger every second.

Well, I have begun to realize that I do not need time to wonder on my true feelings of love for her. I have already felt it and I am glad I am seriously crazy with her. God has answered my challenge. That is, when I asked God on whether God can give me love from a lady. Indeed, God is the Almighty in finding the right person for me. Alhamdulilah. Praises to Allah.

Maybe it is not the right time for me to marry her yet. I still need more time to know her. However, if I were to marry anyone, it will be her. Why? The reason is...I LOVE HER.

With blessings from Allah, this will definitely end in a wedlock one day. It is a matter of time.

Questionable Love?

Have you ever wondered whether your love relationship with your partner is greater than others? Have you ever compared it to other couples and wondered your relationship is better or at least the same as theirs? Apparently, maybe not. Somehow or rather these questions struck my mind last night when I met Frodo and his new girlfriend in town.

In fact this is the insanely crazy part of Frodo, which I am amazed at times. He wants me to meet his girlfriend still after all his other friends had seen and known her. Perhaps this is the brotherly stuffs that all close brothers, want to do,especially when they are in love. To let their closes brothers meet their girlfriends and be happy for them. Indeed, I am. I am proud to say that I encourage Frodo to go ahead with this relationship when I sense that he is attracted to her. Of course, I will. He has never had a real girlfriend in his life before and looking at that situation at that particular time, it seems the right thing to do.

I was glad that it worked out pretty well between Nat (his girlfriend) and Frodo. They are now so much in love. Oh my, young love. They are so adorable together and seeing them together yesterday and getting to know the girl who makes the difference in Frodo's life makes me so happy. Nat talked to me and without a doubt we clicked. When Nat left the place on her bike (she's a biker), I told Frodo, that she is in love deeply with him and vice versa and he should be focus from now on to ensure that this dreamland of boy and girl relationship will turn into something concrete in time. One advice I gave him after that is this. Loving a woman is a feeling whereby it will complete you as a man in due time. Loving is not enough to prolong the relationship. It is stability in the end. He seems to take my advice seriously and I believe Frodo will find a job in 6 months time when he completed his National Service.

Well, one thing at a time though. Before I mentioned this, let me assure you that I am happy with Frodo and his girlfriend but...I am pretty sad about it when I compared it with my relationship with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect yesterday. We met, kissed, cuddled,embraced each other's warmth (I was so cold in the theater yesterday watching Apocalypto!) and was very intimately in love. However, is that enough? Do I have something like what others have? Is the feeling concrete? Is this real or it is just in the making? Do I need more time? SPG told me two days ago that I will have to wait a little more time than just a year or so before I can think of going to the next step. I guess we both always had this curse of doubting our partners in life since then. Maybe it is just me. I even joked with her that if she were to ever marry or elope, she have to invite me for the wedding as I will like to witness the breaking of the curse that she had for all this time. Oh my, only Allah knows.

I do not know whether my love for Annie is pure and great as what Frodo has with Nat or even as SPG with Genie or even as other couples that I have known in my life. This feelings that I have right now with her is being tested again from now and than. It saddens me when I have to go through many obstacles to meet the right one for me. It saddens me when I have to ensure my love for her is genuine too. I guess it will take time.

Loving a woman is not only a matter of saying " I love you." or "Yo Tequeiro" to one another. It has to be sincere and it has to be something whereby you can prove it. I know I love her but I do not know whether it is as pure as what Frodo and others has with their girlfriends. It is questionable for Max Muchacho......O Allah, please guide me.

Love and What is Next?

Oh well..I am in love..finally. There are so many things that you can venture when you are in love with a woman. Sometimes, I wonder what they are when I am single. However, this proves that, it has been so long since I have a real girlfriend in life.

Many friends have adviced me on why do I have to lead a life full of emptiness and confusion though I have been very happy with what I have got in life. Let's do a simple review on how the life of Max Muchacho used to be before I meet Anne.

I was a very sociable person. I did salsa once and party always with my buddies for almost 7 years of my life since I completed my National Service. The people that I met can be either excruciating or exciting. The lovers that I met are either going astray or rather painful especially when I knew that the relationship cannot blossom further for the rest of my life. I worked hard, travelled hard, made numerous friends, listen and enjoyed the very best of music which are beyond my wildest dreams when I was a child and I did the normal routine things that any Singaporean will do on normal days, which is, shopping and watching movies.

On the other hand, when I think of it, I kind of have a fulfilled life with the love I get from families and friends. I was quite contented with everything but there are two things in life that I hate to face annually. That should be Hari Raya and my Birthday. As I had mentioned before, I was happy but I was aimless. I had no girlfriends but many platonic relationship with ladies from all around. I began to realize that something is missing in life. This is further mentioned by my young niece who is around 8 years old by now. She told me during Eid last year something that shook my head all around. She asked me why I did not have a girlfriend and why I am not interested in getting a wife. Amazing isn't it? Children nowadays are so brilliant that they sometimes seems to know what is best for their older families. I always believed in that. I told her that my girlfriend is around and it is just that she is waiting for me somewhere. I guessed you will know what is her next question after that. She asked me why didn't she come and visit me. And the list goes on for a kid who is always inquisitive and curious for something they do not understand yet.

When I met Anne, the world seems brighter to me. She lighted up my life. I felt my fire burning and my life reborn into a world of many thrills and adventure. I do not know what or how this comes about but I guess this is what love is all about. It comes in the strangest manner to anyone. Our relationship is still in its premature stage but I can assure you, we will surpass the maturity stage at any time. We still have to find out more things about each other and keep on figuring out on our characters and credentials before any new things may happen. Any relationship will take time to blossom. I have to take more time on this.

However, we shall see how it goes. InsyaAllah

Keranamu Kekasih..For you, my love..

Dear Love,

You are forever the meaning of my life. This time I have been waiting for so long. Only your touch settle my misses. Love, this is where I am giving it to you, my soul, my devotion and my dedication. My Love is for you always for the sake of being together with you on your soul, just for you...

The brightness of light coming from your eyes are just like the beauty of your feelings. I know we will sure meet always, meeting eyes to eyes, eradicating my longing for you.

Love, this is where I tell you...my love, my soul and my affections to you. My love is for you so as to be together, in front of you, love and this is for you.

Love, this is where I will make our curse to end. Our gift from God to meet. Darling, for you, I will unite it. The misses and the loving. The longing for love, we will solemnly...uphold the blessings given from Allah..forever...May Allah bless us together....

From your love, Max Muchacho

P.S Yes...i met Mrs Max...YES! Alhamdulilah..

The Invitation Of Love

I have nearly 13 more hours to go before I make my final decision to end my bachelorhood. Yes, I have decided to do something to end my misery. I had finally realized how much I am in love with Anne.

Tommorow will be the day I am going to ask her to move on with me on another level of relationship. I am confident this will happen well but still, I am nervous but I will pray for the best. The problem was actually about her. The solution is actually her. Oh my...May Allah help me in the acceptance by her of me being her boyfriend.

Ok I shall not talk more in this. We will see how it goes tommorow. Wish me luck

Di Puncak Tertinggi - At The Highest Peak

I was listening to the Puteri Gunung Ledang Musical CD song, known as "Di Puncak Tertinggi - At The Highest Peak" and I am very much hypnotized by it as it covers some mystical Javanese Traditional Rythms. Why do I do this now? Actually, I have gone through a state of depression for this past one week. Why is that so? I shall tell you later part in the blog.

Before I start my sad story, I will introduce some lyrics from the song. Parts of the Lyrics Chorus, mentioned these beautiful word. They are as follows :

----------------------------------------------------------------

Mata Temu Mata
Berguguran Bicara
Kata demi kata
Merubah tutur jadi rasa
Hanya Keasyikan pada kewujudannya
NAfas dan nadi bak terhenti
Petermuan ini kian terasa bagai bererti...
---
---
Tak Pernah kurasa
Sentuhan luar biasa
bagai dalam mimpi
atau seakan telah terjadi
aku yang terpisah
kembali bersatu jiwa
bagai telah diijabkabulkan

pertemuan ini
apakah berakhir di syurga....


which means,

When eyes meet the eyes
It devastates the conversation,
Word after words,
change the conversation to feelings,
Only Concentration to her presence,
Breathing and nerves never stopped running
The meeting is beginning to be of some meaning...
----
----
Never have I felt
The mysterious touch
its like a dream
or has it happened already
I am the one that was separated
coming back united in one soul together
its like being married

This meeting, will it end in heaven?

----------------------------------------------------------------

What lovely words, I may say always. These are the words of those who are in love. Yes, and that is the thing that is bugging me now. The story started after I met a very patient, sincere and beautiful lady known as Anne. She opens up my heart which was concealed for a long time ever since I broke off my engagement three years ago.

I met her through online. Yes, I know some of you do not believe in internet dating but hey, love comes in a mysterious manners. It has finally arrived in the electronic world for me. I give it a shot. I met her. I went on for two dates after knowing her for about two months. All is fine but there is this dark secret within me that fear commitment after all these time. The thought of not making through to marriage strikes worries in my heart. Questions like, " is she the one? , is she going to be my wife? , does she love me truly? , will she wait for me? and the best....do I love her that much to be her husband? ".

It was hell...The outcome made me into a person with insomnia. I cannot sleep at night. I stayed awake throught the night and kept thinking and searching my feelings thoroughly. I have to settle this quickly before I jump into this relationship. The best thing about her is that she is very patient with me. She spend my birthday by treating me to a birthday dinner treat and gave me a present. It was so nice of her. All was well.

New Year's eve arrived. Frodo's got a girlfriend on this day and it was a whole new world for him. He is deeply in love with the girlfriend. The funny thing about this is that I got to know Anne roughly during the same period as Frodo and if I were to go on with Anne, it will be a dream come true. Both brothers getting girlfriends at the same timing. Now what are the odds of that?

Of course, this will be a fairy tale if it end up that way. I found many things about Anne that still triggers my doubt on her. She still is affected by her ex boyfriend who dumped her 4 years ago in a 4 months relationship. She confessed to me on that. I went beserk again. Imagine, when I was about to go into this relationship, almost the time Frodo got a girlfriend, I was repelled by her shocking news. What happens to Max Muchacho after that?

Max Muchacho went into a depression state. I had not slept for three days straight in a row at that time. I talked to many friends about my confusion but I could not help wondering how I landed up like this. I have always been the friend or brother that have been helping people. When Frodo got a girlfriend and others moving on with their lives, I was left with myself to deal with. The vision of myself strike down so hard on me especially when I realized that I had gone through a lot lately. A lot of problems had gone through in my life and the idea of myself in existence is a total shame. I cried continuously. A 33 year old man crying. That is a joke right? It happened. In view of that, I have problems in handling it and come to an extent I make several mistakes in hurting some friends feelings for making wild accussations of their betrayal to my friendship and so forth. These are all uncontrollable issues that I was going through during my depression. Why do I have to react that way? Of course, that is because no one can help me as how I help others sincerely. No one actually know me. Yes, there are best buddies like, dancer, sexy mama, my younger brother Frodo, Mar, Raj and many more to give me a listening ear to all my problems.

If only life is that simple. Their advice are great. Good advices for me to heed. However the sadness still creeps up in my heart. Seeing people in love makes me hate my life further. I questioned God on why is "He" punishing me in this way, deviating me from ever experiencing any real love? I swore to myself many times, hitting my head to ease my suffering, cursed myself and even felt like jumping down but I am not that crazy. I cant help it if the thought came by. Thank God for my sanity, I did not follow it.

Now...I have to move on. All of my friends are attached. I am alone. Anne is still taking to me as friends. We are still trying to figure out our feelings for each other. That is yet to be determined till further notice. I recovered quickly with the help of Dancer and Raj. They opened up my mindset on thinking of my happiness and letting go of my sadness. They told me to start thinking of my welfare and do that first before putting everyone's welfare first. Perhaps this is what God wants me to do now. I cannot be possibly start thinking for Frodo's life always especially though he is my younger brother. He already has a girlfriend and he have to step on his two feet from now on. I cannot start thinking of Dancer of his financial crisis or Raj on his current girlfriend issues or sexy mama on her life and many more. I have to think of myself from now onwards. I am scared that all these people will just forget about me though. What will ever happen to me by than? An old man working and in the end putting my wealth in a hospital to take care of when I grow old and die there? Will God end my life now to end my sufferring? I guess God wants me to deal with this personal test deeply. I have no choice but to live.

I keep seeing the times I spend with my friends in the past. I hate to see it go away and wither away till I grow old. I see Frodo, moving on with his life and perhaps forgotten about me in the near future. I see Dancer migrating to other country and losing touch. I see Raj and Sexy Mama having their equal fare share of life. I fear that I will be left to rot with my wasted life. May Allah help me.

If God wants me to be alone..than be it. If God wants me to settle down, than be it.

We will see how this goes from now on. I have to concentrate on my studies too. May Allah bless me from now on. If I can handle this and be stronger than before, I will be indeed the strongest person in the whole planet. If God wills it.

Broken Relations

This is a sensitive topic to discuss. However, I shall attempt to talk about it especially when I realized that there are many people who are not aware of it's realities. I am sure that most of us had gone through countless relationship before we find the right partner in life. Well, unfortunately, not everyone is lucky.

The idea of losing someone you love so much in life can be very degrading to anyone. Are we even impervious to fear that we tend to neglect the truth of the story? There are people in the world who have yet to overcome a certain type of trauma in their life. I can name a few, the post traumatic experiences of War, Natural Disaster and so forth but what can be devastating than losing someone whom you love to another person? I will always think that the latter costs lesser pain than the first but who am I to judge people who are going through a horrible experience as such?

We are not perfect. That is the symbolic nature of any human being. Let us talk about the topic on post traumatic experience of a break up. I have several experiences to relate to here but let us make it general. People fall in love when they find the chemistry within themselves easily. Oh well, it is always a good feeling to go "Ga Ga" over the opposite side and let yourself afloat on air many times when you go on dates with her or him. The relationship may take a while to endure. Some go on dates for as long as 8 years ever since school time. Oh dear, that is something I never did before and I got to give my thumbs up to them. Some even go on dates for four months until when something not right strike to their heart, they broke off.

Well, these idea seems easy and it looks like a typical soap opera movie in television. However, how are they handling it? I know some may take years to overcome their depression over the matter? Some, I heard, took a short period of time to move on. My concerns are more of those who are unable to move on after a break up. Hey, I have problems dealing with a break up too and that did not make me a superman in any way.

Just look at this in another point. Why do we need to suffer so much just to hang on to a past that is not meant to stay? Yes, the feelings are still strong, the memories are too fond to be forgotten and the experience of being together once was enticingly fantastic. Reality check. It is over. Get on with it. Ok here's a stupid theory that I think it will work for some but not all. Leave it a week or a month (maximum) to get over this. For the ladies and the men too, cry as much as you can if you still think that you love the other person. Than, find another partner and move on. If you are still single, go and party to the maximum. God is fair. I am sure there are better partners whom we will meet in due time which will end up in a wed-lock.

Even so, why do we need to ponder on something which is not worth thinking about? Do not let emotions handle your perceptions of the problem. Put it this way,whether it is the man's fault or the woman's fault, when a decision is made to part, we have to find our inner strength to move on. It is beserk. I understand and you are not alone. Everybody is going through that once in a while. Be optimistic. Life goes on.

For those who are suffering out of a relationship now, a personal advice from myself who had gone through it before, stop killing yourself by hanging to it. Move on. There will always be a blessing in disguise for every problem we face.

To conclude, everybody now may think that, I am just full of crap in writing such a blog. Hey, put it this way, I may be wrong but it is for the best. The one thing I learn about being in love and out of love is to keep on finding love though it may not happen permanently in your life. When we found one, treasure it, remember your priorities and enjoy life. Do not just discard what you have currently when you pursue your "love" because if it fumbled one day, you will have nothing to hook upon to. Only god knows. Adios.

Supplication To The Almighty

This is a song from Sami Yusuf..It is a good supplication prayers for those who are in desperate need for guidance. May Allah bless us all..

" Allahumma SalliAllah Saiyidina Muhammadiminnabiyil ummiyyi wa Allah Allihii Wasabbihii Wassallim..

Oh My Lord, my sins are like the highest mountains. My Good Deeds are very few. They are like a small pebble..I turn to you..My heart full of shame..My eyes full of tears..Bestow your forgiveness and mercy upon me.

Ya Allah. Send your peace and blessings on the Final Prophet and his family and companion and those who follow him. "

May Allah make me choose the best path for my life..

2007 - 33

Okay..How shall I start this? First, Salam Aidiladha to all Moslems from all around the world. May God grant me the chance to perform my Hajj one day. InsyaAllah, If God permits. Just a few days ago,almost three days ago, I was celebrating my birthday. Now, it is already the new year, 2007. The best thing of having your birthday near the end of the year is that, it brings about a lot of merry and joy as it gives the person new hopes for the new year and not forgetting, his or her new age.

As I mentioned before, I am 33 years old now. I am not ashamed about it or face the peril of getting older as the years go bye. No, of course not. I am quite contented with the idea of being more experienced with life as the days go by. People may say many things about it. I will just smile and ignore the unnecessary remarks. Anyway, I have to say my humble thanks to many of my friends who had either called me, message me or went out with me to either wish me or celebrate with me on my birthday. I felt so honored and happy with your warm salutations. I am blessed to have many great friends and buddies. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. With the new year, I am not going to spell out my resolutions at all.

Why is that so? It is simple logic. I have yet to accomplish my previous resolutions from the previous years. In fact, I am wondering on how does the term, " new year resolutions" come about? I see it as just another hoax of wanting people to have hope or certain targets to achieve.To me, I have given up on making new year resolutions. On the contrary, I will rather make new prayers or wishes to God to make it happen.

Let us put it this way. To err is human. If I have made a lot of mistakes to people, I apologize.

I yearn to be a better man as I grow mature.
I yearn to see the world be a peaceful place for all humankind to live in harmony among each other without racial discrimination or religious profiling.
I yearn for a better life full of love and peace.
I yearn for the best for my family and friends.
I yearn to shower those who needs my help based on my capabilities.
and I yearn to seek peace and serenity forever.

Goodbye 2006. Goodbye 32. Welcome 2007. Welcome 33. The odd numbers of my life have come again since I celebrated my 22nd birthday 11 years ago. Perhaps the year 2007 will be a good year for my family, my friends and myself indeed. InsyaAllah..If God permits. What will ever happen in 2007? Only God knows. Reality check - I have only left with one week before I start to work again. How time flies....

The Odd Numbers

I have always waited for this day to come. It is the day when I am able to feel the double odd numbers of my life which is, 33 years old. Time flies and today is my birthday. The thing about this day is that, it comes once in every decade of a human life.

Look at it this way, you will only be able to experience it first when you reached 11 years, followed by 22, 33, 44, 55 and so forth. What are the odds of that? It takes another 11 years altogether. It is just a simple theory which I believe that something good will happen when the time comes. I can foresee myself settling down by this year. Hmm...wait..that is too drastic. Perhaps I shall be able to face happiness in many ways. A new resolution is made everytime when my birthday arrives. This is cool when it happens to coincide with the new year. Now, isn't that cool to know that people from around the world is celebrating the coming New Year with your birthday,just around the corner? Haha..cheap thrill.

I had just returned from a very touching celebration done by Frodo and his friends. They tricked me to go to Vivo City, a new shopping centre in Singapore, and bought me a birthday cake with 6 candles symbolising 33. I was so touched and honored by it that I smiled and blushed continuously. Put it this way. It has been long since I celebrated my birthday. It has come to a point where I am beginning to ignore it whenever it arrives yearly. Well, at that point of time, I thought it is just another typical creation by people who loves to be reminded about how old they are getting each year. I do not like birthdays. To me, it is just another number. Why do we have to keep thinking about how old we become from time to time right? Well, I may be wrong to think that way. Some people cherished their birthdays. I just happen to think otherwise about it. In the end, birthday celebrations are more meant for your friends who want to see you happy for the day right? Absolutely correct.

Anyway, today by 2.15am, I will be 33years exactly if I were to be really precised about the actual day and time when I was born. Hey, the party just started. I will be on a date tommorow with my latest girlfriend whom I had met recently. Girlfriend? Now, isn't that something new for my life? How long has it been? 3 years after my last break up with my ex-fiancee. I am sure all of you must have been wondering on this newcomer in Max Muchacho's life. Questions such as " Who is she?", "Where do you meet her?" , " Where is she working?" will always be the common questions from my friends. I have the answers for that now..

I met her by God's will. Alhamdulilah. Praises to Allah. Hopefully, this time, it will work for me. I keep telling myself many times, recently that, I got to make this relationship a success. The best think about her is her patience and sincerity. She got the looks, she got the career, she can think, she can smile, she can dress, she can make me happy and she can...I can go on and on with the list. Is this love? Is this even a relationship? Is this the one? Is this the final countdown for Max's search for love? We have yet to see that.

Well, like what Frodo said, " Do not think too much on it. If there is chemistry, just work on it." He is correct. InsyaAllah..it will last forever this time. It is time for me to open up my heart to accept new love. It has been sealed for a long time indeed.

Oh yeah, before I go, after the date, my buddies and I will be partying in a club of my choice. Let me see. I will figure that out later. Till than, take care.

Wishes That Are Not Meant For Me..

Yesterday, I went to my classmate's engagement ceremony at her house. It was quite a joyous event for her and all of us were very happy for her. She looked like a princess for a day except that she is now engaged to her longtime boyfriend. This brought down memories of my engagement that occurred three years ago. No worries, I was only thinking of the good part and not the bad part of it.

The worse thing is not about refreshing my mind on my ex-engagement. It began when one of my classmates started to tease me consistently to let go of my friend and avoid mixing with her as she is already engaged. Wait a minute...There is nothing going on between me and her. What is the matter with him??

Oh no..not again. The teasing started to increase from minute to minute. I do not know why on that spur of the moment that I tend to ignore his comments or remarks on my so called "illicit affair" that I had with my engaged lady friend. Perhaps I was just so happy that I cleared my examinations and I am in my dreaming world right now since it is my holiday. His deragotary comments were irrelevant. What happen after I ignored him? He got irritated eventually. Perhaps this is the part where I realised that this bloody guy has always been eyeing on my success of life and I will rather say that he is not pretty happy with what I have.

He mentioned a lot of rude comments on my life. Even my other friend was surprised to hear that and was shocked to see me reacting quietly about it. I told my other friend that there was no point in arguing with him on his pathetic remarks. There is no truth in any of it. It is just going to be another waste of breath.

Well...life goes on. But if I were to encounter him doing the same thing again, he will get it from me...than he will know what it is like to be condemn from someone who is older than him. For God's sake, he is 6 years my junior...

Some people are just ludacrous.

Results, The Aftermath Of The Post Examinations

I am filled with excitement. I had passed all my examination and the results are not that bad either. In fact, the fear of me not passing my Mathematics subjects, has haunted since the start of the holidays. Imagine this, the whole cohort could not complete the exam paper and it is one of the toughest as compared to the previous years.

Well, some of us were disappointed with the results. Some had a bigger GPA than me and some had lower than me. It does not matter at all to me. In fact, the fight to compete with the rest of the students had entirely diminished to me. Why? I see no point in doing so. Why must any students fight with one another to maintain a certain grade so as to be the best amongst all? Perhaps it is the quest to proceed to the next level of education but there will be a quota for that.

On the contrary, in the end, if any of the students, failed to win, wouldn't that be disappointing? what I will advice is to do your best in the examinations and do not have the urge to compete with the rest. It is not emotionally good for the heart if we are going to be envious or jealous of others better than us. Yes, it is good to have someone to admire upon but it is not good to try to be someone who can score well when in the end, we know our maximum limits. Just try your best and if you studied well enough, I am confident that passing is just a breeze to anyone. Getting distinctions are just an added plus to your hardwork.

Never compare. Study hard and play hard too. Anyway, as for me, I am already on the verge of exploding to smithereens. Do not get me wrong. What I meant here is that I am already at my peak of excitement as I can now enjoy without fear. Till January 10, 2007, when school reopens, I will party to the max.

And ...did i tell you something? I had found my match for a girlfriend. I am seeing someone right now. Pray for me that this will work. Tell you more on that on my next blog. Adios...

A shocking image

Just a short one, remember when I said that I had a very short hair cut? I thought that I am crazy to do that now but after my trip on the train this afternoon, I realized that I am not that pathetic.

This is because I saw a couple of young teenagers who had a hair cut with some funky outlook on their heads. Now how do I describe this. They did some line designs that look like a zebra crossing on the road by the sides of their head and make some spiky hair on top of their head. Some have designs of an unknown picture at their back of their heads which reminds me of the punksters in the 90s where they will have their long sharp and spiky hairdo on their heads and roamed around aimlessly in town for attention.

Oh dear. These teenagers must have mimicked that fashion and they are trying to revive that era again. To be honest, it is a mockery to their image. The difference between that time and now is that, these teenagers nowadays do not have their style on their own as compared to those kids in the 90s. I got to admit, those confused kids during the 90s with their spiky hairdo, had created their image of their interest in a certain music or culture. The teenagers nowadays are just following the past. Sigh.

Anyway, be it cool or not, it is still silly to me. Why do you want to have a porcupine head and show off to people? Shouldn't they just become a clown in the circus? I rest my case.

A Bonus To All

Hey, today is a good day for all civil sector's servant. We have just some bonus from the government and indeed it has been a long time since I have acquired such plentiful some of money.

I mean, it is not that much really but some extra cash will be good for the soul, don't you think? It had been a long time eversince i did a career swap from a Network Engineer to a Teacher and this has been quite a meaningful day for me, my first bonus from my new career. It brought about some good memories that I used to perceive during my previous profession.

What did I did when I get my first bonus? Indeed, I shop till I drop. Exactly Not! I managed to pay off my bills first. Than, I decided to go out with Faz, my colleague for a rocking good food in an Indonesian Restaurant known as Desa Kartini, which I believed, is the best Indonesian Restaurant in Singapore. Than, we watched a movie known a Dejavu, a definite fantasy movie about going to the past to save someone's lives. Oh yeah, the night before, I went out with some other friends of mine, Frodo, is one of them, and watched the movie, Saw part 3. This movie is a continuation of the movie, Saw and Saw part 2 and I think this is the movie gruesome movie I have seen for the year.

Well enough about movies, Faz and I continue to purchase some gift for another colleague of ours who is going to get engage this 24th December. Well, this is a problem. Both of us are men and we are not sure on what to get for our friend, Fiz, a gift. In the end, after much patrolling around the shopping centres in Orchard Road, we came across a splendid box with some body lotions and bathing stuffs in it. Thanks for the Christmas sale, we got a good bargaining price for it. This is funny. We men, will always find ourselves in a dilemma in getting a lady, a present. I mean, for men, it's easy to buy them a present as compared to our female friends. I believe women, will be a bit sensitive on the type of gifts that they will receive from their other friends. In the end, I told Faz that, the gift has to come sincerely from our hearts and I am sure she will appreciate it. I hope so..

In the end, we chilled at a cafe in town and talked about our greatest nightmare that we have yet to face in future. Our maths results! Well, like most of what my friends have said, it is now in the hands of God. We hope and pray daily to clear this horrible maths exam paper in order to move on to the next semester. The funny thing about this, I have yet another three more weeks of holiday and I reckon that I am going to do tonnes of stuffs which I have forgotten to do during my examinations period. The problem is, to do that, I have to recall what it is.

To conclude, perhaps I will only do it when I remember what the heck I am supposed to do during these long breaks. Till than, I will just relax, figure out my next travel destination, figure out what to shop like buying a DVD recorder and party till i drop. Hmm...maybe I should rekindle the idea of socialising with other women. Let me see, ah..let nature takes its course than. I am so free now and when that happens, I ended up having an army style hair cut. Can you believe that? Sometimes I ponder on the crazy things I will pursue when I am that free. What will happen next? Stay tune..

Returning from the holidays

What an excruciating feeling to return from Sabah, Malaysia. That is where I was from before returning to Singapore. This time, the trip was a meaningful experience as I have learnt a lot on life itself and also on another country's culture. Sabah is located on the eastern side of Malaysia and its people are mostly indigenous as compared to the mainland Malaysians who are mostly Malays.

The intriguing part of this trip is mostly made up of my understanding of how Sabah and Sarawak and Brunei are joined together. I have not known this until I am actually there to witness it. I used to think that Brunei is an island off Sabah but the truth is, it is in the middle between Sabah and Sarawak. Sabahans or Sarawakians have to drive through Brunei in order to reach Sarawak and they have to bring along their passports even though they are not travelling abroad. Aha..That is another interesting thing. Since I came from Singapore, a very tiny weeny small island at the edge of the Malay Archipelago, travelling inter states never existed at all for me. The only way to experience that is to go overseas such as in Malaysia. Therefore, Malaysians and other bigger nations have the experience to go inter states without using passports. I find it weird as when we took a domestic flight from Kuala Lumpur(KL) to Sabah, my KL friends did not have to bring their passport as they are locals but as for me, I have to, as I am a foreigner.

Isn't that great? Anyway, let me summarize the trip in brief here. I travelled upwards to KL via a bus and it took me around 6 hours to reach KL. Usually it will take shorter than that but due to the traffic jams that occured, the journey was extended to another hour. Once I reached KL, I rang my friends up. One of them happened to work in Exonmobil which is actually just across KLCC Twin Towers, Malaysia Tallest building and shopping centre. I will say that this one of Malaysia's prominent landmarks. I waited for him to finish work at 5.30pm and off we go for a dinner in one of the shops to eat noodles. This is the best thing about Malaysia. I can eat almost anything there without a worry. It is all Halal though I normally will not bother much about it while I am in Singapore. To me, as long as it there is no pork, the food is edible.

After our sumptious meal, I head on to my friend's place for a night before we fly to Sabah via a budget airline in the newest Low Cost Carrier Terminal, next to Kuala Lumpur International Airport. As with all budget airlines, the service is budgeted too. We have to queue up for almost an hour to check in. The seats in the plane are not catered for big size people like me. The food has to be bought and it is expensive and not worth it. The plane is undeniably scary at times especially when it hits a couple of turbulences on air - well this is normal for all planes when it comes to turbulence. Well, I shall not complain further as it is a budget airline.

We touched down in Kota Kinabalu and I booked reservations for a three day stay in Hyatt Regency which is situated right in front of the sea. I manage to get upgraded to a King Size bed due to lack or rooms at the time of my hotel check in. The room is perfect with a balcony, big living room and great facilities for me to choose if I decide to stay indoors. However, I stayed the firt two days in my friend's place which is in Tuaran, 30 minute drive from Kota Kinabalu. What an astounding experience when I came across a town which is very relaxed and stress-free. Imagine that there are no big shopping centres in Tuaran, just old shophouses. Flora and Fauna is abundant there. Practically, the entire Tuaran is covered with many trees and undeveloped lands. Cattles and many farm animals can be seen wildly roaming around the villages. My friend told me that the cows managed to outwit the farmers by opening up the fence and it decides to roam around freely by the road side. Imagine this, sometimes when we drive we have to wait a cow to move along to the other side of the road. This is funny. I will make funny sounds to the cow with my friend horning it with his van and the cow will slowly take his time mooing and moving across the road. The best part it will leave behind its fertilizer in the middle of the road. I told myself, this is back to nature for me. :-)

I met my friend's mother who was an ex-teacher and we chat about everything. The two days in Tuaran was so comfortable and stress-free that time passes so slow. We went to all the resorts to take pictures and I manage to take a picture of Mount. Kinabalu from the road. I decided to have a return trip with a couple of friends in future to trek the mountain as the trip up to the mountain will require at least four people and plus, it is a four day trip. Well, I shall take a pass for now thinking of the stamina, courage, persistence and patience I need to have before I make my move up. That requires planning and simply not on an abrupt manner indeed.

In fact, if I want to talk about wanting to be close to nature, I am already surrounded by them. My friend brought me to view the countryside of Sabah, and mind you, the humidity level was extremely hot. I was perspiring constantly while I was in the van. The air-conditioning in the van was spoilt. Imagine that. No complaints still as it was a free ride. Oh yeah, the food in Sabah was delightful and fulfilling. The sabahan tradition is that all food there must be tag along with soups. Well, you can imagine all the different soups that I tasted when I ate my lunch and dinner there. I have also learnt that my friend is a Kadazan, a Sabahan native tribe and I noticed that most local natives in Sabahan has disctinctive features almost similar to any other natives found in South America and so forth. They are indeed good looking people. There is something in their face that glitters away when we look at them. Isn't that interesting?

Shopping in Sabah was exciting. Imagine the costs of items in Kota Kinabalu is half lesser than the price in Kuala Lumpur. Being a Singaporean, I go beserk with the idea. I ended up shopping like a crazy maniac. that is our dollar currency is 2.33 times as compared to one ringgit. Hmm..that is a good feeling to shop. Everything else in Sabah is cheap. The entire trip was so relaxed that I don really bother about my next plan or destination when I finally checked in the hotel two days later. I went swimming by the pool, sun tanning, walking around Kota Kinabalu to try various foods and deserts, shopping little things in the Filipino Market( An arts and crafts market filled with Fillipinos from Mindanao, drinking and watching cable. I've met a couple of beautiful Sabahans ladies and we chat and do many things. :-)

That is life. I almost forget that I have school to attend to when I return home. Hey, that will only be by 10th January 2006. I still have more than a month to enjoy at home. I am practically so in peace now, that I can do anything. Perhaps I should go and travel further next week. Let me see my budget anyway.

Well, we returned to KL on the 4th December and the next day, I make my way back to Singapore by bus. The whole trip was awesome. My friends in KL brought me to best dining places which are so cheap when I returned from Sabah to KL. I almost feel like staying there for a couple of days but I remembered on my commitments back home. It was indeed a mind soothing trip for me which I wanted. I managed to get it at last.

A Thumbs Up Musical Show

I remembered clearly about my interest in seeing the musical of Puteri Gunung Ledang in the esplanade, not too long ago. Indeed, I managed to achieve that last Friday, when I witness the first, Malaysian or rather, Malay Musical Show in the esplanade theater in Singapore.

The first thing you may wonder is that this show would probably be a failure as we never had a real good musical show for the Malay Industry. I was mistaken. I knew the Puteri Gunung Ledang show and I have always been a fan of the legendary Malay Warrior Hang Tuah since I was a child. You can definitely imagine, my enlarged concentration on the musical as I want to see whether the organizers had managed to transform it to a theatrical performance or not.

I am not a good commentor or a critic on the show itself but I will try my best in summarizing what I had observed last Friday during the musical. It all started with the Majapahit (ancient Javanese Kingdom in the current, Indonesian region) empire who have been weakened by the spread of Islam from the other states. Majapahit Kingdom is the only state with the influences of olden Hindu traditions of the past that was brought over by the ancient people from India. It's nation at that era, was one of the strongest nation in comparison with the Malaccan Sultanate (in the current Malaysian region) and other influencial states of Java who have chosen Islam as it's rightful religion through conquest by Prince Demak, (another legendary Prince in Java) at that century.

The Majapahit Ruler was pressured to call upon his best friend who is the Sultan of Malacca for further assistance against the penetration of Prince Demak's forces into his kingdom. Being a loyal friend to the Majapahit, Sultan Mahmud Shah, the sultan of Malacca, agreed to give him a helping hang by sending in Hang Tuah, his greatest admiral and warrior and his men to face Prince Demak for a truce, in hope that Prince Demak will avoid invading Majapahit. In conjunction to that, Sultan Mahmud, just want to marry the Princess of Majapahit, Princess Raden, the sister to the current Majapahit Ruler. Being forced to do something for his government, the Majapahit ruler agreed to his friend's wishes.

Evidently, Princess Raden, decided that it was not her best interest to marry the Sultan Of Malacca as she had fallen in love with Hang Tuah, when the Malaccan delegation visited Majapahit beforehand. She decided to threw off her position as Princess and become a commoner and travelled to Mount Ledang in Malacca to follow the oath that she made with Hang Tuah, in reuniting their forbidden love between them. Apparently, the love story was further dwindled in the demands of the Sultan Of Malacca. He instructed Hang Tuah himself, a loyal servant of his king, to personally meet the Majapahit Princess on the top of Mount Ledang where she is currently residing by herself, to ask for her hand on behalf of the Sultan himself.

Now, Hang Tuah is in confusion. He had to choose either the demands of his heart or his loyal obligations to his King and he made a mistake by choosing the latter. He visited the Princess and the princess was delighted at first, upon thinking that their forbidden love was reunited. To her dismay, she was only acknowledged by the Sultan's wishes which was personally given by Hang Tuah. Failing to understand why Hang Tuah had to do that in replacement of their love, she accepted it with 7 pre-conditions demands by which the last condition was to have a bowl of his current son's blood.

Of course, this was about to be fulfilled by the wicked Sultan of Malacca when the Princess Gunung Ledang, came into the palace and confronted the Sultan's on his estranged desires. She was actually giving him the signs of her refusal of the acceptance of the marriage. The Sultan was furious as he was belittled by a commoner. She was asked to leave the Malaccan empire but she requested to stay at the peak of Mount. Ledang and the Sultan agreed to let her reside there. However, he cursed her using his royal blood to the country, to be forbidden from going anywhere besides there and be completely invisible by sight by the naked eye from dusk to dawn. If she were to reveal herself to any humankind, the person's eye will bleed to death.

Her curse still lingers on till this very day. In the musical, Hang Tuah, who was in agony for making the mistake of abandoning his love for the princess, ran away and meet up with the Princess in Mount. Ledang who is currently waiting to meet him there. However, many historians said that Hang Tuah just vanished from sight ever since that day. His grave was never found.

This forbidden love legend was reinstated with colours, music and atmosphere of that era. It was perfectly done to unite the love between a Majapahit Princess and Hang Tuah, the Legendary Malay warrior. I was fascinated by the songs and the show's choreography that I realized that this musical is comparable to the broadway shows in New York. A truly remarkable display of the Malay Legend. Kudos to the team for a very extraordinary musical of the Puteri Gunung Ledang story. Thumbs Up!

Examinations are over!

The coolest things about examinations are that you actually look forward for the things you missed doing. I missed going to the movies, hanging out in cafes around Singapore, shopping and socializing. Of course, nothing beats than going for a holiday. I just rang my KL friends last week and they are so excited in meeting up with me.

Definitely this time, it is not only to Kuala Lumpur but from there, we will be flying off to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, where I will get to meet nature. What is so interesting about this trip is that, I will be able to be with to another place which I have not been to. I will have the chance to do mountain trekking in Mount. Kinabalu, one of the highest mountain in southeast asia, go to Sepilok to visit the Orang Utan Sanctuary(this will be interesting), visit the Monsopiad Cultural Village to experience Kadazan culture through activities such as cultural dances or even a chance to use a blow-pipe and many more. These are the things that I have never experienced before. If people from around the world, takes the initiative or interest to travel all the way to places in Southeast Asia, why shouldn't I do the same thing? Well, I have the opportunity to do so now.

I truly deserve this break and the best thing to have a fresh start is to travel. Why not? I have one and a half months break for the school holidays. However, my last examination was horrendous and horrific as most of the cohort did not complete the examination paper on time. The mathematics paper was the toughest as compared to the previous years. Oh well, I shall think about that when my results come out this middle of December. Till than, it is party time.

The fun starts tommorow with the visit to the Puteri Gunung Ledang, the musical show in the esplanade. I have been waiting for this theatre show for a long time. It is time to let my hair down. Cheers, Max!

What am I thinking about?

I was thinking a lot during these past few weeks. It is regarding the long break that I will tend to have after my exams. Why not? It is going to be one and half months of break. That is a long time for me to rest and relax.

Of course, the question is where will I be during these holiday break? Shall I travel to an unknown place like the middle east for instance which I have not gone throughout my life or shall I just stay in the country and enjoy the break? That is something I will leave it to fate when it arrives soon after 25th November when my school closes for the holiday.

However, as I was thinking now, my mind is thinking about Mathematics Test which is due this Wednesday. Today, I visited my colleague whom had a baby girl born last two weeks. The baby girl is so red and she look so pure. It is this kind of feeling that I will always think about myself that babies are always born without sins and they have long life ahead of them. We share my friend's happiness when we visited his house. He is indeed very happy with his wife.

Now, as I was saying beforehand, here I am thinking about the destination that I will embark on this coming holiday, others are going through a lot more thinking that me.

These are the list. As I am thinking,

• my colleague is thinking of getting a break from his new commitment of getting a newborn,
• my other colleague is thinking of getting enough money to get engage and get married,
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are tieing the knot - Marriage thoughts,
• President Bush had just left Singapore and is heading down to the Apec Summit in Hanoi, Vietnam - He surely has a lot to think about,
• The Palestinians are thinking on how to survive for their next few months while they are being oppressed by u know who.The Iraqis and Afghans, are thinking on how to survive in their occupied country,
• The fight in Darfur, the black moslems there are trying to survive from being killed by u know who,
• Singaporeans are thinking about the new GST hike of 7% coming soon,
• The Americans,are thinking on their new future with the Democrats winning a majority seats in the Congress,
• The Malaysians,are thinking on when will the dispute between the former prime minister and the current prime minister will end,
• Indian and Pakistanis are thinking whether they will ever see a nuclear war between them when they keep seeing new nuke tests being carried out by either side.
• South Koreans and Japanese people are thinking of whether there will be an attack by North Korean's nukes,
• The Kyoto Countries members are figuring out on how to cut carbon emmission,
• The Thais are thinking on when will their martial law ends,
• and many other people in the world are thinking on other major issues.

Now, does all these other issues in the world, play a part in my decision? No, indeed not. It is just to show me how small my problem is as compared to other people faced in the world. So, what am I thinking about? Sigh..

An Immoral Behavior

As I was studying today, I happen to notice something peculiar that is going on downstairs through my window. I saw a person peeing by the side of a tree. Now that is not a good view to see especially when you are stressed up with studying.

Apparently, the old man is having his "personal" time in dealing with his personal needs with the public. I take that as an offence. However, we got to look at it this way. Perhaps the old man is senile or could he just be immorally unconscious of his character and the people around him? I think in any situation, if there are any urgencies of any nature's call by a person, he or she should try to withstand the need and quickly look for the nearest toilet. We are mature adults and not children after all right?

The actions of the old man is actually of illegal and not allowed according to the law as it may offend people due to the nudity behaviours. This is simply absurd and requires discipline by the police. Well, in any case, I cannot do anything either as I on the 6th Level of my flat.

If I were to ever encounter such a ludicrous act again, I will definitely tell him off or shove him away. That is the funny thing. I thought we are all civilised. What ever happen to that when we come across such incidents?

Oh well, let me return to my studying for science. I wonder whether I can find out any logic from that experience I had in relations to science. Haha, apparently not!